How to Give Feedback to Your Team Members and Direct Reports
The ability to give feedback separates good managers from those that are mediocre. I interviewed Phil Dana, CHRO of AskBio for my next book The Savage Manager, and he noted that giving feedback is one of the top 5 most important skills for managers.
Before shifting to the “how to” of giving feedback, let’s first be clear what feedback is and what it is not. By definition, feedback is “information about reactions to a product, a person's performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.”
One issue I have with that definition is that a “reaction” implies the influence of opinion and bias as opposed to a neutral “observation.” The most helpful feedback removes judgement and is solely focused on the person receiving it.
Also, we often forget about the last part of the definition – that feedback should be used for the “basis for improvement.” Feedback shouldn’t be a way to slam the other person and list all of their failings. Rather, feedback should be delivered in service of the other person and their growth.
HOW TO GIVE FEEDBACK: TIPS FOR MANAGERS
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s focus on how to give feedback. When it comes to giving feedback, people wonder “should I be direct and to the point?” or “should I sugarcoat what I really want to say?” Like with any behavior, let’s take an inside out approach to delivering feedback. Before we can deliver feedback, we need to take a few additional steps that will ensure it is well received and is delivered in service of the other person’s growth.
First, Build the Relationship
While the intention of giving feedback is positive, it can often lead to conflict. That’s because many managers assume they have permission to give feedback (due to their title and seniority) before they’ve built trust and developed an actual relationship. Consider the new manager who takes over a team and starts off in their new role by dictating feedback to each member of the team; what they’ve done wrong, how they can improve, ways they can be a better, more productive teammate.
I remember a manager I once worked for who took a colleague of mine to coffee and literally pulled out a list of 20 things he was doing wrong. He did this before establishing trust or any type of relationship. At best, taking this approach will create raised eyebrows and awkward glances. Most likely, their team members will be thinking, “Who the heck are they and what do they know about me?”
Instead of assuming permission, start by spending time developing a relationship with your direct report before jumping to feedback. Learn about their background and where they went to school. Also, get to know their goals, how they hope to grow in their current role, and even their hopes and dreams. Doing so will show that you care and help create permission to deliver feedback. Then, and only then, can and should you provide feedback. Without a relationship, feedback will create conflict. Getting to know your team members will also provide context for your feedback. You’ll be able to anchor your comments and suggestions in service of their goals and ambitions.
Shift the Perception of What Feedback Is and What It Isn’t
To most people, feedback is the dreaded part of the performance review. I know it was for me. After hearing all of the things I did well, I waited for the other shoe to drop. “Now Darren, there were also some other things you need to work on.” Ugh, I always despised that part of the performance review.
Now that many companies have adopted continuous feedback and check-ins, we receive “feedback” on a more regular basis. We get to hear all that we do poorly every week instead of once per year. At least that’s the perception for many people.
But, it’s on each of us as managers and people leaders to change the perception of feedback and position it for what it is. It’s not our opportunity to dump on our direct reports. Rather, its sole function is to help each person on your team grow and get better. Full stop. It’s become cliche to say, “Feedback is a gift”, but it is indeed the fuel that each one of us needs to grow and get better. Most of us can’t be the player, the coach, and the referee of our performance at the same time. We need an external and hopefully objective point of view to not just gauge the result of our performance, but to provide tips to grow and get better. That’s what feedback is, or should be.
Ensure the Feedback is in Service of Growth and Development
As discussed above, be sure that feedback is delivered in service of your team’s growth and development. Shift the focus from missteps and what was done “wrong” to a conversation of the behaviors and actions needed for your team members to grow and elevate in their current role.
In times of stress and rapid change, feedback can start to look like an indictment of someone’s performance rather than a pathway to grow and get better. Extra pressure can lead to poor positioning and delivery of feedback. In times like this, take a step back and remember you are playing the long game. Comments such as “Come on, we need to increase the velocity of our output” or “You are under your target and need to get back on track ASAP” might deliver the desired result in the moment, but you’ll tarnish your relationship in the medium and long run leading to underperformance. Instead, deliver the feedback that’s needed in the moment, but also explain “why” it matters and discuss what specific steps they can take to improve performance.
Make it about the Other Person, Not You
I hear many managers complain that feedback is not being taken or considered by their direct reports. While that could be because they haven’t gained permission to deliver feedback, there is another reason for its failure to resonate. Many times, managers frame feedback from their perspective. They talk about how a misstep impacted them. “Your deliverable made me look bad in front of our customer” or “The way you communicated that issue reflected poorly on me as a manager.”
Managers need to provide feedback from the point of view of their direct report. Talk about how an action (or inaction) impacted your team member’s performance or the dynamic of the team. Don’t make it about you as the manager.
Make it a Choice
Ultimately, it’s up to each of us to decide what we do with feedback. Shrug it off as a comment from “out of touch” managers. Take it into consideration at a later date (Usually this means never). Or internalize it and look for opportunities to grow and improve.
As managers, it’s important that feedback is delivered in service of the other person and as a choice. Feedback can’t be a directive. Rather, use your coaching skills to ask questions such as “How might trying that make a difference?” or “What would be the impact of that change?” Follow up questions focused on the impact with questions focused on the practical next steps as well as one to confirm a commitment to action. Ask “Is that something you are willing to try?” or “What is a next step you are willing to take?” Taking a coach approach leads to choice and ultimately greater ownership of the action as well as the outcome.
Coach to Action
Feedback isn’t a standalone activity. In fact, it’s just the starting point for growth and development. After delivering feedback to your team member, be sure to follow it up with ongoing coaching and support. Use check-ins and one-on-one coaching conversations to revisit feedback delivered. Ask, “How are you coming along with ____?” or “What might be getting in your way of making the change we discussed in our last conversation?” Be sure to pair those questions with an offer to help. Add, “How can I support you?” or “What additional support or resources can I provide you with?
Remember, feedback is the fuel to grow and change and needs to be supported with coaching and development.
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