How to Be More Confident - Step One is Changing Your Mindset

Confidence is a core attribute among great leaders. Confidence to make challenging decisions. Confidence to anchor to your values when “easier” and “faster” paths seem tempting. Confidence to pivot when customer needs and wants shift.

 While people universally value and seek greater confidence in work and life, actually becoming more confident can be tricky. Based on my experience as an executive coach, confidence can be gained through an array of efforts such as the achievement of small wins, focusing on the process and not just outcomes, adopting a lifelong learner mindset, and joining a peer group. The first step to becoming more confident however, is to focus on your mindset.

How to Change Your Mindset to Be More Confident

Mindset is one of the keys to confidence in life and in business. The following tips will help you shift your mindset so that you can become a more confident leader.

Tackle Self-Limiting Beliefs to Increase Your Confidence

Self-limiting beliefs are those thoughts in your head that get in the way of your success. Those “old tapes”, as one of my clients would say, can also impact your self-confidence. Thoughts such as “I’m not ready”, “I don’t have enough experience”, “I don’t have the right background”, or “I’m just not good enough” have the ability to torpedo your self-confidence if they aren’t addressed. Addressing your self-limiting beliefs starts by assessing their validity. Ask yourself, “What is the source of that thought in my head?” Most times, you have manipulated the data into a negative thought. For example, when I would see a one-star review about my book on Amazon, it was easy to say “Well, my book just isn’t good.” Instead, I could (and should) think, “No book is for everyone and mine isn’t any different.” Next, replace that “tape” with a more positive, affirming thought. In my case, it’s “My book has resonated with many people, but it’s not for everyone. And I’m okay with that!” Tackling self-limiting beliefs will help boost your confidence by removing persistent, negative thoughts.

Eliminate Negative Self Talk to Boost Your Confidence

Negative self-talk are the thoughts and words we use to describe our experience, performance, and abilities. This can stem from self-limiting beliefs as discussed above, but they also can be from your inner critic that judges anything less than a 100% perfect result. Consider a sales conversation that yielded 50% of the target result. Our inner critic could think and even say out loud, “I failed to reach my goal” or “I am not good at closing big deals.” Another way to boost your confidence is to eliminate this kind of self-talk.

Use Positive Affirmations to Support Greater Confidence

Eliminating negative self-talk can make us be more confident, but so can the use of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are statements you make that reinforce a positive, optimistic position about yourself. I’m not sure I believe there is something mystical about positive affirmation. But, I do believe that positive, reinforcing statements about yourself absolutely boost your confidence. For example, if you are new manager learning to lead effective one-on-one coaching conversations with your team, you might use an affirmation like “I’m a great coach to my team” to boost your confidence. While that may boost your confidence, I believe that a positive statement grounded in reality is even more effective. Instead, consider saying, “I’m not quite perfect, but I’m starting to hold one-on-ones and I’m doing a great job at being present and being an active listener.” Positive affirmations go a long way to boosting your confidence, especially when they are rooted in reality.

Try a Power Pose to Increase Your Confidence

Harvard Researcher Amy Cuddy made waves by introducing the “Power Pose” in her 2012 TED Talk. A Power Pose is a postural movement where you extend your arms upward and outward. The original research claimed that Power Posers gained a boost of confidence (through a feeling of greater power) while also increasing testosterone and a decreasing in cortisol. Subsequent research couldn’t prove the change in hormone levels, but it did confirm that striking a Power Pose can boost your confidence by helping you to feel more powerful. You can use a Power Pose before any important event such as an important meeting, client negotiation, or speech at your national sales meeting. The Power Pose is another mindset technique you can use to increase your confidence in any situation.

Key Takeaway

Self-confidence is a common attribute of all great leaders. Confidence will help you make a strong first impression, gain credibility, deal with pressure, and to be more decisive and take quick action. Try using the tips above to start to shift your mindset in service of greater self-confidence. We all experience a lack of confidence at times, but taking a focus on your mindset is one way to stabilize your confidence over the long haul.

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