Don’t Let Ego Be the Enemy of Your Growth
I talk a lot about growth in The Savage Leader. I also talk about barriers that get in the way of our growth. A recent personal story taught me yet another common impediment to our growth—our own egos. The following story taught me how ego can trespass in our pass to growth, but also the importance of stepping past it in search of lifelong growth and development.
I was slated recently to appear on a niche podcast focused on telling the stories of entrepreneurs. It wasn’t a huge opportunity, but it did provide the chance to connect with a new audience of leaders looking to grow and get better. About an hour before the scheduled recording, I received an updated meeting invite that pushed the recording out a few weeks. I was confused about the last minute reschedule given the numerous reminders in the preceding days and weeks about the recording. In haste I cancelled the podcast recording. Not because I couldn’t make this new time work, because I could. I cancelled because of ego – my ego.
At the time, I felt a lack of respect for me and my time as I was going to share insight that would be helpful to me, but also to this particular podcaster’s audience. I had protected my ego by respectfully declining this invite, but what did I gain from this?, I thought to myself in the following days and weeks. In that moment, I let ego get in the way of my own growth. In this case it was a missed opportunity to connect with a new audience, but how many growth opportunities do we pass up out of concern for our egos?
My personal experience with placing ego above growth sparked a realization – ego can be the enemy of growth. As I reflected on this, I realized that ego could prevent growth in many ways such as those described below.
How Ego Can Get in the Way of Your Personal Growth
Asking for Help
How many times have you paused before asking for help for fear it would ding your credibility and perception of your expertise? But what do you gain by protecting your ego? Help that could lead to a better presentation, a more accurate financial projection, or a better-informed sales pitch. Next time, put your ego aside and ask for the help that can yield a better outcome.
Finding a Mentor
Mentors are one of the secrets of the best leaders. Mentors have walked through the fires we are attempting to walk through and can share lessons they learned from their past and advice on how to tackle obstacles you face in your life and career. Many people are shy to ask successful people in their sphere to act as a mentor for them for fear it makes them look naïve. Step over your ego and ask that person in your life who possesses the advice and experience to help you take the next step in your journey.
Requesting Feedback
Feedback is one of the tools that good leaders use to become great. Feedback is scary for many of us as it calls out areas of growth (let’s not call them weaknesses) and requires us to acknowledge that we aren’t perfect. Put your ego aside and start incorporating feedback into all that you do. Ask your boss for feedback on how you led a recent meeting. As you do, replace “How did I do?” with “What is one thing I did well?” and “What is one thing I could have done better?” In doing so, you’ll see that the benefits of receiving feedback massively outweigh the concern for managing your ego.
Asking for Referrals
Referrals are critical to anyone that is in sales (really, everyone is in sales in one way or another), for job seekers, and people who are looking to grow and get better. Unfortunately, many people assume they have to be Superman in their lives and careers and go it alone. They let their egos get in the way of asking for that referral that could transform their companies or that introduction that could jump-start their career. Keith Ferrazzi taught me a long time ago that no one gets there alone or as he says, Never Eat Alone. Put your ego aside and ask for that introduction that has the potential to change your life.
Next Steps: How to Push Your Ego Aside
Ego is a powerful force to push us forward, but it can also be a hindrance to our growth. To help push past it, ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do right now to put my ego aside in service of my growth?” More important, do more than think about it and take action.
Savage Leaders recognize that ego is the enemy of growth and look for ways to put it aside to help on their path to greatness.
I Want to Hear from You
To help surface and develop the most useful ideas, I want to hear from you. Tell me where you want to go deeper (with existing Savage Principles or new ones that need testing), what stories you want to hear, and if you have any questions as you continue on your journey to become a Savage Leader. Send your thoughts, ideas, and questions to thesavageleader@groupsixty.com.